As time goes by

My gosh how quickly the time goes by. Today I woke up and realised that so many things have changed just in a matter of days. Funny how that can happen, right? It's no longer March, I'm no longer in England, I've finished reading 1984 and my holiday will end in just 3 weeks. Everything is changing and I'm not sure whether it's for the best or for the worst. I'm in a state of in-between where nothing is certain, but I'm not even sure I want it to be certain because somehow it seems that as soon as I find out what the future holds it will lose some of the air of mystery around itself. It will be like the past - familiar and safe, but also boring in a sense. Yet there is a need inside for something...constant...something I can depend on so that if everything else fails and falls to a million bits and pieces, like it has done so many times before, that I will still have something left to hold on to. Wow that sounds so melancholy but I guess that's what happens when you've suddenly got so many hours a day to think about stuff like this.